I’ve had 3 positions since having children. The first allowed me to work 3 days, but had very inflexible hours. It was back to real basics compared to what I had been doing pre children, and I hated that 4pm feeling when I desperately wanted to pick up my daughter but felt chained to my desk with eyes on me from every direction watching to see if I got up and left early.

My second position was Part Time and I working from home 4 days a week. It was flexible in terms of hours but the work load was really not feasible Part time- so I ended up working 5-6 days a week and was only paid for 4… what a stitch up.

Is it possible to have true flexibility and be successful?

YES!!!

After I had returned to my second role post twins, I decided I wanted something for me. I wrote down a list of what I wanted and needed (manifesting) and I found a dream job. I was upfront and direct with what I needed, and my manager (also a mother) was great. My role was great. Completely flexible- I worked 7 days a fortnight, I would come and go as I need to according to drop offs and pick ups and I made up any hours outside of work. There was no guilt about getting my daughter from school, there was no guilt if someone was sick and I need to work from home. I performed well, I got everything I needed to get done, it was GREAT!!!

This role gave me the confidence to take it one step further and start my own business which I love.

So why is it so hard to find flexible work that suits parents?

You need to be open to alternative work arrangements.

One of the key aspects of embracing flexibility is being open to alternative work arrangements as a parent and as an organisation. This could mean working from home, having a flexible schedule, or taking advantage of part-time or job-sharing options. By being open to alternative work arrangements and actually sticking to them you allow yourself to work on your terms and be successful at work as well as at home. It means companies also need to really embrace this ethos and encourage true flexibility across workplaces also.  It’s all very well saying you support flexible work, but it needs to be filtered across the business and accepted by all leaders and team members.

Be proactive and voice what you really need.

Another important aspect of embracing flexibility is being proactive in seeking support and voicing what you really need. This can include reaching out to family and friends, or seeking professional support such as therapy or coaching (with me!). When you are returning to work or applying for jobs, think about what is going to really work for you and be completely honest and transparent. The happier you are with your flexible arrangements the happier you will be at work and the harder you are likely to work. Feeling resentful isn’t good for anyone so work out what works for you and talk about it to those who need to be across it.

Seek out Opportunities for Growth and Development

In a study conducted by Pew research, they found that 50% of mothers said advancing in their career is harder because they are a parent, and 39% of dads agree that advancing in their career is negatively impacted by being a parent.

Working parents also need to be proactive in seeking opportunities for growth and development, both professionally and personally. This can include seeking out mentors and sponsors, participating in professional development programs, and taking on new challenges and responsibilities. By investing in your personal and professional growth, you can build the skills and confidence you need to succeed. You should still be able to maintain flexible working and continue progressing in your career.

Prioritise self-care.

Getting burnt out as a parent is easily done. We tend to juggle a million things at once and prioritising self care is essential to not burn ourselves into the ground. Exercise, meditation, spending time with friends, and taking time for self-reflection are all things we should be incorporating into our weeks. By taking care of yourself, you will have the energy and resources to be a successful working parent and role model for your children.

Have a growth Mindset

Embracing flexibility requires a Growth Mindset, which means being open to change and being willing to adapt to new circumstances. The demands of work and family life can change, and what works for you today may not work for you tomorrow. By being open to change and embracing new opportunities, you can continue to grow and succeed as a working parent.

When you manage to find a position that truly works for you, you won’t look back. It is hard to find the perfect integration of work and parenting, but it is possible and requires a bit of give and take. Be open with your communication around what you want and need and remain flexible yourself. I hope you manage to find a gem like I did that allows you to love your job, progress and work flexibly.

I think flexibility is essential for working parents. Pick ups/ drop offs, appointments for you, appointments for your children, there are so many things needed to squeeze into a week and if you don’t have flexible work arrangements it can make it so hard. It’s still a big learning curve for many, but flexibility is the future of working and the more we can implement this, the more parents can return to the workforce and it’s essentially a win win for everyone. If you need some support to implement flexibility across your organisation, I do a great workshop for leaders!

When I returned to work after my first daughter the transition was a lot greater than I thought. I took a more junior role, a huge pay cut and suffered with intense feelings of guilt that my daughter was in daycare for days that were far too long for both of us. I didn’t receive any support transitioning back into the workforce and I was overwhelmed and torn between wanting to be a great mum and wanting to develop my career.  

I want to delve into the importance of providing adequate support for new parents returning to work and how it can redefine the purpose of parenthood in the workplace. Not only will this benefit your employee’s but as parents make up around 50% of our workforces, this can help to prevent turn over, and provide an increase in performance and results.

Embracing Change: Are You Providing Adequate Support?

When a baby enters the picture, the dynamics of our lives shift dramatically. As parents return to work, they face a multitude of changes in their professional and personal lives. Employers must acknowledge and address these changes by offering support systems that cater to the evolving needs of parent employees.

Flexible work arrangements and childcare assistance is an essential start to providing the support that is needed, but should we be stopping there? Providing support to new parents demonstrates an understanding of their challenges and a commitment to helping them navigate this significant life transition. Providing them with the tools they need to redefine what this transition in their life now looks like, what their purpose is now and what they need to make their career work for them and their family, is a large missing piece of the puzzle.

Redefining Career Priorities: Beyond the Nine-to-Five

Parenthood often prompts a re-evaluation of career priorities. Returning to work doesn’t mean reverting to the same roles and responsibilities as before. Parents may find that their priorities have shifted, and certain aspects of their previous roles are no longer feasible or desirable.

Employers can empower parents to redefine their career paths by offering opportunities for skill development, career advancement, and alternative work arrangements that accommodate their new roles as caregivers. Parents also need to have this awareness to receive adequate support from their employer.

Coping with Change: Providing Support and Tools

Parenthood is synonymous with change, and parents must continuously adapt to the evolving needs of their children. Employers can support their parent employees by providing resources, such as parenting workshops, and flexible scheduling options, to help them cope with these changes effectively. The greatest gift employers can give is providing tools to make permanent shifts and changes to parents thoughts and behaviours. 80% of our outcomes are based on our mindset and as humans the ability to change, have the confidence to speak up for what we want and need and how to push ourselves out of our comfort zone can make a dramatic difference in the performance and wellbeing of parents.

By investing in the well-being of parent employees, organisations foster a supportive work environment that promotes productivity, satisfaction, and retention.

Stepping Out of the Comfort Zone: Working Smarter, Not Harder

Returning to work after parental leave often requires stepping out of your comfort zone and embracing new challenges. Encouraging parents to adopt a growth mindset and explore innovative approaches to work can enhance their confidence and resilience.

Employers can foster a culture of continuous learning and professional development, where employees are encouraged to take risks, learn from failures, and adapt to change with resilience and determination.

Supporting new parents as they transition back to work is not only a matter of employee welfare but also a strategic investment in organisational success. By offering tailored support, resources, and opportunities for growth, employers can empower parent employees to thrive professionally and personally, ultimately redefining the purpose of parenthood in the workplace. Let’s strive to create workplaces where parents feel valued, supported, and able to achieve their full potential. If you would like to discuss this with myself and how I can support your organisation please don’t hesitate to reach out.

I am one of 3 girls, and we have all married really “hands on” men. They all help around the house and share the childcare. Before you all get too excited reading this- there is always room for improvement, but on the whole all 3 of them are really great, especially with sharing the childcare and being very involved dads. During this conversation, my sister said something that has really got me thinking.

“Well, if you think back, Dad was really present with us, he did quite a lot around the house and he shared the childcare….”

This is SO true.

My Dad was a teacher, so he was home by 4.30pm every day. We always had dinner all together, mum cooked, dad always did the dishes, they had their “roles” in the house with regards to jobs and it was by no means 50/50 but my dad still did quite a lot to help.

In the school holidays, my mum only had 50% of the holiday off so we would spend the rest of the holiday with Dad. He would play squash and would assign my sister and I a task to build something or find something from the rugby fields behind, he would play golf and we would Cady for him and find golf balls. We LOVED it!

My point to this is this. Did we all marry similar hands-on men out of pure coincidence, or did we marry men like that because that’s what we were raised to believe is normal?

I hope the latter….

I have been thinking and writing a lot about gender equality and I hadn’t even though about my own situation. I know I am very lucky with my own husband, but I hadn’t thought about my own parents. I am SO Grateful that I was raised in such an equal house. And in that generation, I think it would still have been quite rare for that to happen. My dad has always had a great relationship with my sisters and I and it’s all thanks to the time he spent with us. When I look back at my childhood, I don’t remember the birthday or Christmas presents, I don’t remember what we had and what we didn’t have. What sticks in my mind are all the great times I had with my family. The time spent with my mum after school talking to her whilst I helped cook dinner, time in the school holidays when we went on fin adventures with Dad. Time is the most precious gift you can give you children as a parent.

Our Belief systems are built up from generations, our parents, their parents etc. it is really the catalyst of why we think and behave the way that we do. I feel so incredibly fortunate that I have been raised in a way that promotes gender equality and I now live exactly like that myself which will enable my children to be the same way.

If we really want to bridge the Gender gap- this is where we start! Women need to have the confidence to speak up with what they want and need at home and at work. And men need to continue to do more to help at home and with their children, and workplaces need to fully support this.

I read something yesterday written by a mother. She was saying how she runs around in the morning, getting the kids up, washed, dressed, breakfast, lunches ready etc. And then by the time her husband comes out ready for the day showered and dressed she had about 8 minutes to get ready herself. The post annoyed me. Why is her husband not doing half of those jobs and helping her out? Their children belong to both of them and should be both of their responsibilities. If she’s struggling with time in the mornings, why is she not asking her husband to help? This is where the problems start.

Ladies please start speaking up for what you want and need in terms of help and support. If you create this equality in your house now, just think of the effects that will have on your children, and their children… it’s up to us to make that change and to bridge the gender gap. It’s also up to men to allow the transition to occur. To be open to changing the status quo and enabling more balance to spend with your children and supporting your family at home. I will be forever grateful that I was raised in a family dynamic that has naturally created equality in my own house. You have the ability to give that gift to your children as well.

One of the main reasons why men are not engaging in flexible work arrangements is due to the stigmas and biases surrounding them.

Men are often thought of as the breadwinners of the family, and their primary role is to work and provide for their family. However, this outdated view fails to recognise that men also want to be involved in their family life, especially in parenting responsibilities. In fact, research has shown that men are increasingly interested in equalising parenting responsibilities with their partners, and this is where flexible working arrangements needs to be offered and supported for both Men and Women.

Despite them wanting this, men are still hesitant to take up flexible working arrangements due to the stigmas and biases that exist in many organisations. For instance, they may feel that their requests for flexible working arrangements will be viewed negatively by their colleagues or that they will not be seen as committed to their work. These stereotypes and biases create a culture that is not conducive to equal opportunities for all employees, regardless of gender.

Another challenge that men face when it comes to flexible working arrangements is a lack of senior support.

In many organisations, senior managers are not supportive of flexible working arrangements. If the Leadership team is not supportive of flexible working, that will be filtered down across the rest of the organisation.  This lack of support can discourage men from taking up flexible working arrangements, further reinforcing the stereotypes that surround them. If we want to support gender equality, we need to lead by example across the leadership team and pave the way.

In addition to the stigmas and biases, men are also twice as likely as women to have their requests for flexible working arrangements rejected.

This further exacerbates the problem and prevents men from taking up flexible working arrangements. This issue needs to be addressed by organisations if they are serious about promoting diversity and inclusion in the workplace. Men and Women should be seen as equal employees and if that is the case, men should be equally as entitled to have flexible work arrangements.

Addressing these challenges is not easy, but here are a few things you can do:

• Create policies that enable both men and women to work flexibly. This means providing flexible working arrangements that are available to everyone, not just women. This approach will not only help to break down the stereotypes and biases that exist but will also create a more inclusive workplace where everyone has equal opportunities to succeed.
• Actively encourage and role model the use of flexible working arrangements, especially across executives and leaders. This will help to create a culture where flexible working is viewed positively, and men are encouraged to take up these arrangements.
• Promote and support top performers who work flexibly. By highlighting these employees, organisations can help break down the stereotypes and biases that still exist in the workplace. It is important to recognise that employees who work flexibly can be just as productive and committed to their work. It will also help to eliminate the fear from men that they will not be promoted or rewarded for their hard work if they take up flexible work arrangements.
• Working on the mindset of employee’s and leaders can have a huge effect on their ability to implement change. My program “The mindful working parent” a the prefect place to start.

An excellent example of an organisation that is paving the way in terms of flexible working is Clough in Perth Australia. They have completely transformed the company by implementing several new policies to foster gender equity across the business. After refreshing the company’s flexible working policy and encouraging executives to lead by example, the percentage of men engaging in flexible working and utilising parental leave benefits has risen to around 50%. This shows how feasible the implementation of change can be across an organisation, and how it can be done in a short period of time.

We need to break down the stereotypes and biases that surround flexible working arrangements. By enabling men to work flexibly, we can create a more inclusive workplace that benefits everyone. Let’s take action and create a workplace where everyone has the opportunity to succeed.

I have always been a decisive person and perform very well under pressure. I always knew this was a strength of mine in the workplace but I am also very laid back and happy for others to take the lead in my personal life. My friends often tell me where and when we are catching up and I love it. I am there with bells on, but I struggle to decide on plans myself.

In the workplace, I am fast, determined and have very strong views on what needs to be done and can do it in a very timely fashion if required.

Becoming a parent has stretched me personally. Outside of work I’m much less decisive, I like a slower pace, yet I am amazed at some of the situations that I have been exposed to where I have jumped into “work mode” and seriously got shit done (pun not intended- you’ll see).

It was about 8.15 on a summer morning and Sofia (my eldest) and I were cleaning our teeth together getting ready for the day ahead. The twins about 14 months old at the time were playing beautifully in the kitchen. I could hear them giggling away and felt warm inside. Nothing fills me with more joy than hearing them playing together, the bond they have is just magical.

I carry on cleaning my teeth and think I’ll just pop my head around to see what they are doing before I do my makeup.

And there they are…

Lola is sitting down in an open nappy, full of poo, while Sebe is standing in front of her. They are howling with laughter at each other as they both dip their hands in Lola’s poo and smear it simultaneously down Sebe’s legs.

OH MY GOD.

I freeze momentarily and think how the hell am I going to tackle this. We need to minimise poo being smeared any further on the children and most importantly I don’t want shit smeared across my house.  

I need to think fast. Never in my life have I been faced with something that needs a quick, smart solution quite so desperately. This challenges any problem I have been faced with in the workplace. Looking back, if I was able to tackle this situation and come out of it the other side gastro free and alive- then I can honestly solve any problem that could ever be presented to me.

I grab Lola and wrap her open nappy around her as best as I can to keep it on. It’s her morning nappy so it’s heavy full of wee and now full of poo so I can’t seem to re-stick it together. I place it in position and pick her up under one arm supporting her and holding the nappy together… (the things you can manage when you have twins)

Now Lola is secured in what can only really be described as an arm lock, I take Sebe with the other hand and lead him over to the kitchen table where some wipes live. I one handedly managed to take off his pj’s that are covered in poo, I wipe their hands, and I managed to remove as much poo as I could off Sebe’s legs.

Once they were decent enough to be transported through the rest of my house, I take them both to the bathroom, one under one arm, and one under the other, with a packet of wipes hanging out my mouth. Cleaned them up more, chucked them in the shower- job done.

After careful inspection once both twins were faeces free, I could not find a spec anywhere. I well and truly nailed this situation.

This is just one example of many that I am presented with having twins and I am sure other twin parents out there will be nodding along with complete understanding of what I am exposed to daily.

When I reflect on my life, there are some really amazing stand out moments where I have problem solved something under pressure. When I was recruiting Emergency Doctors, I would be out on a Saturday night on a dance floor 10 drinks in ordering Ubers for doctors to hospitals as they missed a flight. I was problem solving constantly- this hospital needs a Doctor and I would get a doctor there in any way I could. NOTHING compares to the problems you solve as a parent.

I thought I was good back then, but I am so much better now. If you are at work and you need a quick solution- find a parent as I am certain their problem solving skills will be excellent if they have tackled raising children!

If you want to support your working parents more- reach out to me to find out more about my program “The Mindful Working Parent” designed for working parents and workplaces. Parents are an asset to organisations and deserve to be supported to enhance all their incredible qualities.